Called by One; Living for One?

    

   As an individual who is constantly tempted to live as if I have to measure up to the expectations of those around me, Os Guiness’ reply to his world, “I have only one audience. Before you I have nothing to prove, nothing to gain, nothing to lose. (p 71)” evokes an overwhelming desire in my heart to be able to say the same thing. These audiences for whom I perform consist of my parents, siblings, professors, and friends, not to mention American society.

    Since my early years of childhood, it has been an up-hill battle for me to place these outward expectations in their proper place, subjected to the standards of God. Indeed, in reading “Rising to the Call” I realize the world’s standards should not only be placed below God’s standards, they should have little or no influence on the way I live. By “the world’s standards”, I mean any outside standard or expectation that does not receive its authority from God.

    Living for an audience of One as a student at a Christian university is a struggle. It is deeply rooted in us as students, especially as honors students, and as humans to strive for the approval of others, specifically those in leadership. The expectation to excel both in class and out is almost tangible on campus. I’ve found that the desire to live for God as my only audience is not enough to overcome these pressures.  The grace of God is required in order to live for an Audience of One.

   I’m struggling to accept God’s grace in this area as well as many others. My tendency is to try to earn it, which then defeats the purpose of it being grace. So for now, I’m learning to graciously receive grace as a gift so that I can live more fully for Him.

Questions:

1.    What are some ways that we can practice looking to God rather than our world for approval?

2.    Os Guiness says “Faith therefore means restlessness.” (p 87) I’ve never heard faith described in this way; how can I reconcile this with the church definition of faith, which seems to be “belief in God”.

Completely His

    According to Oswald Chambers, “The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.” This statement brings to mind an idea that has had a tremendous impact on me. Although I have forgotten the source, the truth of the thought has nevertheless stayed with me. “What you do WITH Jesus is more important than what you do FOR Jesus.”

    Speaking from personal experience, the temptation to validate my faith to myself and others by serving God through activities such as volunteering in the church nursery is alluring. The problem with this devotion through service is that it doesn’t require me to actually invest any time interacting with Him one-on-one. Lasting devotion takes root in a heart continually soaked in His presence. When I’ve taken that time to sit down and ask the Father what is on His heart concerning me, my soul feels so much more alive and fulfilled than when I simply make service projects another thing to squeeze into my overwhelming schedule.

    Please don’t misunderstand my heart in this. I’m not saying that the Christian faith is best lived out holed up in a room constantly talking to God or that works of service have no place in the life of a Follower of Christ.  I’m proposing that when service for God takes precedence over time with God, a key element of true devotion is lost.

   To be completely honest, since coming to JBU, I’ve really struggled to find those precious moments where it’s just Him and me, alone. I’ve been so consumed with absorbing truth about Him that I haven’t set aside time to be with Him. I haven’t yet answered His call to come, rest in His presence and be completely His.

Questions:

1.      As JBU students and more specifically, Honors students, we are under a significant amount of pressure to excel not only in our schoolwork, but also in life. In his book “Rising to the Call,” Os Guinness quotes Walker Percy, “You can get all A’s and still flunk life. (p. 5)” What are some practical ways that we can balance getting all A’s while answering God’s call to fellowship with Him?

2.      Os Guinness defines “calling” as “… the truth that God calls us to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out as a response to his summons and service. (p.10)” Do you agree with his definition? Would you add anything to it?

       Only He Knows   And That's Enough

     Only God knows my greatest ambition.   The Creator of my ever-changing heart is the only Being who could understand it well enough to answer that question. I don’t say this as a way of evading an open answer to the question “What is your ambition; your pursuit in life?”, but rather as an honest response to it. If required to, I could write a tidy summary of what I think I want out of life, but I don’t know if that would be completely candid on my part.  Right now, I can’t honestly give a definition of what I want the most in life because I’ve undergone so much transformation in the time since coming to JBU, not only mentally, but also spiritually and emotionally. Everything here from navigating the cafeteria to meeting people is a fresh experience, a learning curve. I absolutely love being here and allowing God to expand the horizons of my miniscule world.  As He continues to expand my knowledge of myself, I don’t know which desires of my heart will endure this season of testing and searching and which ones will fall away as I begin to discover what God has for my future. The one ambition that has not only remained steadfast but has also grown is my desire to pursue God afresh in every area of life. As of right now, I feel that He has instructed me to focus on thriving where I am planted. Therefore, following His direction by flourishing as a student in the JBU community is what I desire most; I believe that must be my ambition.

A Single Scene

     If my life was a movie, it would leave the audience grumbling about wanting its money back.
 Even I wouldn’t go to see a movie about my life. I’ve never suffered a tragedy, never been romanced, never overcome a terminal illness or saved a child from drowning. My life, up to this point, has been a journey of the heart more than a series of adventures. My obstacles to conquer have been internal, invisible to the casual onlooker.  I can identify with Donald Miller’s desire to re-write his life when he is given a chance to re-create his story on film. Who’s perfectly content with the way that he or she lives everyday life? Wouldn’t we all be thrilled to receive the gift of shaping our everyday routines into something memorable and worthy of a story? This brings me to the question, “What makes things, events, times, places and people memorable?” 
     A single scene from my life that stands out in my memory is my first day of third grade. 
I had never been to a “real school” before that year and my young heart was a mixture of anxiety and excitement.  As a homeschooler, I had never before experienced the fear of rejection by other children. I walked into my small elementary school, which seemed so overwhelming at the time, completely unaware that I would be judged according to what I wore and what kind of backpack I had.    To me, walking up to that building the first day of third grade represents the journey of identity that was dawning in my life and that is why I remember it so clearly.

Questions:

Are events memorable because they impact you deeply, or do events impact you deeply because they are easily remembered?

If we know that our lives are boring, why do we continue to live in broken-record routines? How could we change if we wanted to?